invisible.

We speak of heartache...of pain...of hurt
But these words are prisoners between our lips
A life sentence we’ve given ourselves
A burden only for us to bear—no one else’s
Because letting you shed tears
Breaks my heart with each droplet
So I stand isolated at the edge of the world between what is known and what isn’t
If only I can feel your warmth in my heart
If only for a moment, only for a second I can believe and have faith in you again
That you won’t say I’ll always be there when I know you’ll vanish the moment I need you
That you think I’m special when I know you don’t mean it
Don’t make any promises you can’t keep
No heart is left even once it is broken.
My dearest love—I’m broken. I’m left invisible.

gah!

GAH! FINALS! GAHHHH!

光棍节快乐

光棍节快乐
11/11

limits

it is possible to just eat one meal a day and survive--only proves that i've lost my appetite for food and life.

past week

threw up now 3x
saw mr. bunny around mead and was about to catch it but it hopped away to a bush
hailed today for a good 3 mins
lost 5 lbs within two months unwillingly
lost appetite for food
don't eat every 2-4 hrs anymore

thoughts...

everything and everyone must come and go
as to abide to earthy rules
but the experiences one takes
shall forever haunt them
the good, bad or worse
the reality of it all is that everything is impermanent
emotions
material goods
relations
nothing is static
everything is flowing and moving on
with or without your consent

how fickle everything is ....

hanging on

After last night's phone conversation I feel less shattered, more put together since this whole thing started. I actually smiled and laugh though no one was able to see it, but I felt it. That melted away some of the hurt I've been feeling recently.

I'm not completely shattered.